In November 1997, I boarded a plane that took me half way around the world to Hong Kong. In Hong Kong, I met up with 10 families and we were escorted into mainland China (Guangxi Province, city of Nanning) as a group to be united with the child that the China Center for Adoption Affairs matched to each of us! We all sat in a conference room at the orphanage and as each child’s name was called, the family to whom the child was matched walked up to receive their child.

I was so thrilled as I watched each family before me become parents for the first time right before my eyes. The last name to be called was my daughter’s, and as I walked up to have her placed in my arms at last, my heart swelled and I knew she was mine and I would do anything in the world for her! She was tiny (about the size of a 6 month old) but I was told she was estimated to be about 18 months old. Like most of the other children in this adoption group, she had an upper respiratory infection, she was delayed and she was very undernourished.

Prior to becoming a mom, I read and researched as much as I could on child development, on children coming from the orphanages and the delays they show. (The only thing I ever took care of before were the two cats Chef Miles (aka Cheffy Baby) gave me years ago so I knew I had a lot to learn). This was 12 years ago, so there wasn’t nearly the information then that is available to families today. But intellectually it just made sense to me that a child who was confined in a crib with very little stimulation and without being held, rocked, cuddled, talked to, etc., would have to have delays and issues….how could they not?

Once she was handed to me, I held my daughter almost constantly. She relaxed in my arms and made good eye contact, so I knew those were good signs. She also was interested in everything around her and she willingly accepted a small fabric doll I had brought for her! I was able to get smiles out of her within a few hours and she was actually laughing and giggling by the next day! She wasn’t crawling yet so I remember getting beside her in the hallways of the hotel in China and showing her how to crawl (she really thought that was funny…so did a lot of Chinese adults who were watching us)! Sure enough, she gave it a try and she was crawling that day. She had never been given solid foods and she totally refused to even try anything but a bottle while we were in China. I talked with the adoption facilitator and he told me to just keep her on the bottle, not to stress her out, and work on transitioning her to solids once we got home so that is what I did. (See the Eating Issues link on the left for more details).

Once back home in Tampa, my daughter got on antibiotics to clear up the upper respiratory/ear infections she had, all of the tests recommended for international adoptees were done (all normal), and she also began to get all of her vaccinations redone. I wish I would have had more information about vaccinations at the time.  In China, I was told the doctor's there "caught her up" so her vaccination schedule was complete and then back in the U.S., the pediatricians decided the best course was to redo all vaccinations from scratch (without checking to see if she needed them redone).  Doctor visits were such a dreadful, horrible experience for her.  She received way too many shots for a tiny, malnourished, child.  

My daughter quickly began to grow and develop and blossom. She was (and continues to be) a very happy child who is so full of love and adventure!. In fact, often times when we’ve been out and about, people will stop us and comment on what a happy girl she is! My daughter has a great sense of humor, she is very strong-willed (funny, I hear that expression "strong-willed" from many families who adopted from China when describing their child), and she is as bright as can be. And I love her with every ounce of my being! Her challenges have been with sensory integration issues (see Sensory Integration link on the left) and expressive language (see Speech link on the left).   We sought out a variety of resources for help in those areas and we actually still work on them. See the link Mane Brain Work for info on the best overall program we've ever tried!

As far as attachment goes, my daughter did experience a bit of  insecure attachment during the first couple of years (see Parenting link on the left). I made the mistake of putting her in a little preschool camp before she was ready (people kept saying to get her around other kids more---NOT good advice for post-institutional children with a little insecure attachment/abandonment issue going on) and that was a huge setback for her. I immediately pulled her out of that camp and I promised her that I would NEVER put her in a setting like that again until she tells me she is ready. (see Education link on the left). It did take quite a while for my daughter’s sense of security and confidence to come back and on some rare days, there is still a little insecurity there. Bottom line, what may have worked for babies and children born into typical homes from day one often DOES NOT work for children coming to us from the post-institutional orphanage settings. 

My daughter and I keep a sunny attitude, we are upbeat, we laugh, and we enjoy life!  We have so much for which we are grateful and thankful.  Travelling to China and becoming a mom to my daughter is the best thing I’ve ever done.  Nothing else--not career, not work, not travel or vacations---nothing can come close to providing the absolute joy that being my daughter’s mommy brings. I will gladly and joyously do whatever I can to keep her healthy, happy, and to be the best mom I possibly can.